It's hard out here for a betting strategist

I figured the Best Picture would go to either Brokeback Mountain (referred to, ad nauseam, as the "gay cowboy movie"), Capote (the "gay writer movie") or Good Night and Good Luck (the "gay people working in a TV studio movie"). Or maybe Munich (the "gay German nightclub scene movie"). I really had no idea that Crash ("the gay people wrecking their cars all over LA movie") even had a chance. Bookmakers had it at 8 to 1, compared to 1.15 to 1 for Brokeback Mountain.



Had I known that "the academy" was so fond of the idea of gay folks smashing up their cars so that they can emotionally connect with other human beings, I'd be totally rich by now. Or maybe the academy, like the rest of America, really hates cowboys. At any rate, it got me to thinking. Maybe the Academy Awards isn't just about gambling. Maybe, just maybe, it's about Soul Searching. Hell, I began to think. All those years I lived in California and I hardly ever got into car wrecks. Did I hate humanity that much? Is this an indication of my racist tendencies?
"Yes," and "probably" were the answers.

It's time I start to reach out to my fellow humans on an interpersonal level:


Heck, let's all join together on this and make the world a better place.


DO YOU EVEN HAVE A HEART?