Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

Now much has been made about how a New Orleans Saints victory tomorrow over the beloved Philadelphia Eagles, aka "America's Team," would dramatically lift the spirits of the downtrodden folks of New Orleans. And I've considered this thoroughly.


But here's the thing: In this stage of their development, you don't want to spoil the New Orleans people. The psyche of a people is a delicate flower. In my experience, the best thing to do is make sure they learn that life isn't easy. This is an important lesson to learn. Life can actually be difficult sometimes, and even disappointing. I want to make sure they understand this.





And I think the Eagles are very qualified to teach them this. They've been teaching this to Philadelphians for years. In fact, it's quite possible that after they win the Superbowl this year and the next, they'll lose it in 2009, thus depriving their fans of their oh-so-precious three-peat and teaching them the cold reality of disillusionment.



Something else that just occurred to me: Don't the good people of New Orleans have a city to rebuild? Those buildings aren't just going to reconstruct themselves. And everybody knows the biggest impediment to a city's progress is having their workers get drunk and piss away a day watching football.



So, let's face it. The Saints need to lose. And lose miserably. If the Eagles were to somehow lose tomorrow's game, wouldn't it be the same as a handout? Tsk-tsk. Wouldn't it be giving the people of New Orleans the proverbial fish, so they can eat for a day, rather than teaching them HOW to fish, i.e. lose to the Eagles?



In the long run, suffering will do these people some good. If there's one thing I've learned from the Bible, it's that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. The folks in New Orleans just need to learn how to deal with misfortune, and learn a little bit of humility in the process. The Superdome has been for too long a house of mirth and joy. Tomorrow it will be a house of education about life. That is, if there's any justice in the world.