Friday, February 23, 2007

What I Ate Today

Update! On Monday morning, rolled tacos were also eaten, bringing the total of tacos been rolled to 4 orders, or 12 altogether.

Guest essay by Herr D.

Friday off the plane (Rubio's)
Fish taco

Friday night (La Posta #8)
Rolled tacos
Bean and cheese burrito
Chicken burrito

Saturday night (Roberto's #10)
Rolled tacos
Bean and cheese burrito
Chicken burrito

Sunday lunch (El Indio)
Carne asada burrito

Sunday snack (Ramiro's)
Rolled tacos

Monday breakfast
Machaca burrito

Editor's note:

Now, what we have here is at first a peculiar procession. I find it interesting that he didn’t just get off the plane and immediately plunder himself some carne asada, but rather he worked his way into it slowly, like a gentleman. Quite frankly, I’d never thought of that before. This might change how we do things in the future.

And that was pure genius how he went to La Posta #8 on the very first night. And then left town with a machaca burrito for breakfast. Very well played. I might have done with a little less rolled tacos, however. And maybe less Rubio’s and more Cotija's. But overall, ladies and gentlemen, this is the work of a master.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

In Defence of Celestial Marriage

In the following discourse, Elder Orson Pratt present the doctrinal and revelatory background for Polygamy which he refers to as "pluarity of bitches," or "Celestial Mariage," though the term Celestial marriage has much broader meaning in Mormonism. The basic reasons he gives supporting the practice of polygamy can be described as follows:

1. God has commanded it through living Prophets.

2. Mormon doctrine teaches that mankind lived before this life as spirit children of Heavenly Parents and that God desires his children be born into good families here on earth; hence polygamy allows more spirit children to be born into the Kingdom of God on earth. This idea is similar to that expressed in the Book of Mormon, Jacob 2:30, and in "I Like Dem Girlz" by Lil' Jon & The Eastside Boyz:
It's some hoes in this house
It's some hoes in this house
If you see them point them out
If you see them point them out

3. To obtain the full blessings of Abraham (to have a posterity as numerous as the grains of sand or the stars in the sky), which Mormonism teaches can be extended to all the faithful, a person should obtain posterity both in this life and in the life to come.

(pictured: clockwise from top, Elder "Lil' Jon," spirit children)

4. God intends to build up the Kingdom of God here on earth and to do that he needs to send his "noble and great" leaders (see Abraham 3:23; Lil' Jon: "Let My Nuts Go") to earth in His Kingdom. Polygamy therefore allows more spirits to be sent.

Elder Pratt further notes that because abuses can occur, God gives the authority over this power to only one person on the earth at a time and that person, according to the Revelation on Polygamy is the President and Prophet of the Mormon Church. And also Freddy the Backdoor Love Affair. No one esle can authorize a polygamous marriage. So he says to stop asking.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Super Bowl Review: #XLI

What I learned from watching the Super Bowl:

a. I hate Rex Grossman. I realize I'm a little late to this show. But I had never bet on him until yesterday.

b. I've never betting on any team ever again, if that team has someone named "Rex" on their roster. He taught me to hate again.

c. If one team is bigger, stronger and more physical, but the other team has heart and guts, and better speed, the team that will win is the one whose quarterback has a gigantic forehead.

Major asshole. Probably a date rapist.
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