Monday, March 27, 2006

A Photographic Journey Through Hallowed Grounds - Part II

A good ol' fashion duel.

As many of you might know, this is "The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier."
Later on, once they did some DNA testing, this became "The Tomb of First Lieutenant Michael Joseph Blassie, Loved By Many, But Unknown to Some."
They took out his remains and now it's back to being called "The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier," which has proven to be more popular with the tourists.

"Hey everybody! Look at me! I'm dead!"

For even beyond death, the spirit of the attention whore lived on.

When I die, I want to be like George Washington!

(Ha ha! "Rear Admiral.")

Wow, they even buried the survivors of Pearl Harbor?
What a cruel, ironic fate.
I guess I can appreciate their sense of humor though.

Rest in peace, Ben Affleck.
Your time came much too soon, sweet prince.

Uh. You put your Weed in here.

A Photographic Journey Through Hallowed Grounds - Part I

Dignity. Check. Respect. Check. Remember these are hallowed grounds. Check.

Perfect. I was feeling a little down today about the U.S.A. I needed something like this to reassure me that America is great.

Joe Louis. "The Brown Bomber." Good nickname.

Felix Longoria's tomb

Please, folks, no pushing or shoving. Let's be orderly about this.
Urination queue to the left, Salivatory expulsion queue to the right. Anybody plan on defecating, you'll need to go ahead and queue up with the urinators.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Help Wanted!

Just in case the picture is too blurry, I'll tell you what it says:
They're looking for people like you to participate in "army clinical trials" at the esteemed Walter Reed Army Institute of Research. Volunteers will receive financial compensation. Just go to:
I'm going to apply. I encourage you all to do the same. Volunteering is good for the community. (Although, frankly, I'm more interested in receiving the free medical evaluation they promise.)
I just hope they don't mind I majored in Lit/Writing. I know it's not really related to the work involved. But I'll mention that in my cover letter.

If you look closely at the photo of what must be their current staff at some kind of company party, they appear to be committed to diversity in the workplace. I see a black fellow, an Asian, a handful of white folks, a guy that looks Latino and some folks of ambiguous ethnic inter-breeding experiments.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Hate horses? Me too!

Another crappy day at the track, courtesy of the stupid horses at Laurel Park who never do what you tell them to do.

Go #3! You stupid horse! RUN FASTER!

Come on #5! Catch up to #8! But don't pass #2 or it'll blow my trifecta! Stupid horse! STUPID, STUPID HORSE!

I'm strongly considering moving "Stupid Horses" down on my "Favorite Animals List."
They're already below "Delightful Fish," "Scrumptious Cows," and "Dogs That Never Want to Listen."
But they're still above jellyfish. Those things are just no good no how.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

What I Ate Today

cereal for breakfast.
then 6 and a half quesadillas, spread throughout the day.
(no photos today, but you can kind of imagine what 6 and a half quesadillas looks like.)

Sunday, March 12, 2006

What I Ate Today

Arrrggghhhh!!!!!! Freddy forsake salad.
Freddy eat legs off of chicken! Arghhh!!!

Freddy not friend of chickens.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

What I Ate Today

Special Mid-day Edition!

piece of pizza.
peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I'm not sure what I'll eat for dinner. Since I'll probably end up at Recessions tonight, I imagine it will be some kind of bar food. Stay tuned for updates throughout the day!

I just had a frozen burrito. Carnitas variety.

Living the pleasant life, in the land of pleasant living

Hankering for a frosty beverage?
No refrigerator in your bedroom?
Is it 30 degrees outside?
Too lazy to go upstairs to the refrigerator?
Does this describe you?
You lazy, insufferable, magnificent, lovable slob!

Introducing ... The all-new Refridgawindow 5000!
Patent Pending, bitches.

First, you get yourself a bathroom. One with a window, natch.

Then what you do is, you put your stash on the sill and you open the window. But check it. Here's the key. You pull down the shades to keep the cold air out, and the warm air in!

From the Land of Pleasant Living, indeed.

Monday, March 06, 2006

It's hard out here for a betting strategist

I figured the Best Picture would go to either Brokeback Mountain (referred to, ad nauseam, as the "gay cowboy movie"), Capote (the "gay writer movie") or Good Night and Good Luck (the "gay people working in a TV studio movie"). Or maybe Munich (the "gay German nightclub scene movie"). I really had no idea that Crash ("the gay people wrecking their cars all over LA movie") even had a chance. Bookmakers had it at 8 to 1, compared to 1.15 to 1 for Brokeback Mountain.

Had I known that "the academy" was so fond of the idea of gay folks smashing up their cars so that they can emotionally connect with other human beings, I'd be totally rich by now. Or maybe the academy, like the rest of America, really hates cowboys. At any rate, it got me to thinking. Maybe the Academy Awards isn't just about gambling. Maybe, just maybe, it's about Soul Searching. Hell, I began to think. All those years I lived in California and I hardly ever got into car wrecks. Did I hate humanity that much? Is this an indication of my racist tendencies?
"Yes," and "probably" were the answers.

It's time I start to reach out to my fellow humans on an interpersonal level:

Heck, let's all join together on this and make the world a better place.

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